Going, going…

So before spring break i had a really traumatic experience, my grandfather died and it was my first real encounter with death.  Ive been fortunate enough not to have experienced the loss of a close family member or friend in my lifetime, so his death really hit my heart…but for the most interesting reason.  My grandpa, Gramps, was not the nicest man, not only to his grandchildren but to his children as well.  He abandoned my grandmother whom i adore, my mother when she was seven and her siblings.  For this she never forgave him and i grew up with that same hostile attitude towards him (my moms intention was never for me to feel this way but i guess you cant help but side with the momma).  Needless to say for this reason his passing brought conflicted feelings not only for my mom but also for me.  This was my only living grandfather, he just died and i couldnt muster up any sort of emotion to save my life.  What broke my heart was watching my mom struggle through the experience.  I went home to be with her because my dad travels a lot and seeing her lost and vulnerable broke me down.  It was a new experience and one that i am strangely glad i had, you wouldnt normally say that about losing a family member but im a weird one i guess.

Anyways, after this i felt i needed to shut down my emotional engine and get back to neutral, so i ventured off to mexico for a relaxing spring break…really, it was relaxing, not a normal girls gone wild vaca.  I read, tanned, swam, read, ate, explored, and that about covers it.  We stayed at the NH Krystal which was right on the beach, everyone was so nice and helpful and it was really just what i needed to let everything go.

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2 responses to “Going, going…

  1. Hey Austin,

    Sorry about what you went through with your grandpa. I too have a not-so-nice grandpa, but he is so stubborn that he insists on living forever, despite his very unhealthy drinking and smoking habits. I imagine it will be really strange for me when he does eventually pass away.

    I’m glad you had such a nice trip. It sounds like just what you needed.

  2. its nice that you’ve opened up and are getting more comfortable. I’m sorry to hear about your loss but it’s interesting to hear your perspective….only thing I could say is try and get a pic of gramps up there, it would be nice.

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